theologically advanced

6am. expecting big snowstorm. having coffee & reading advent reader. highly recommend. and then we have a conversation while jason's tying his boots:

me: i was just reading this article that mentions the fact that mary could have been very proud about her position as the mother of christ, which makes her humility that much more impressive. i guess i'd never considered that idea.

jason: huh. yeah, i have.

me: oh. well. i hadn't.

jason: well, that's because i'm more theologically advanced than you are. [meanwhile: i can see him staring at me, waiting for me to look up & acknowledge his funny comment].

me: huh. is that so.

i'm sure you can imagine the exchange...thought i'd share a classic moment. that jason always delivers.

cycle

last night i started reading through some journal entries i wrote when we first moved here. i recorded small details, like what we ate for meals, where we went to pass the time, & strange encounters we had. i remember those days so vividly, each one individually. the days seemed to drag on, but were full of possibility. the landscape was so fresh & new. there was hope for our new life. i hadn't looked back, yet. i hadn't doubted.

and today, nearly 8 months later, i find my whispered prayers to be the same as those i wrote in the spring: to become a better mother, not living so in the moment; to love my husband rightly; to show my care for people outside my family as deeply as i show my own flesh & blood; and to love god with intense fire.

early on i was waiting for some sort of routine to save me. some sort of daily-life feeling to let me know i was on top of things. a sign or signal that i'd made the transition & had fully arrived & that THE PLAN, THE HOPE was working. but more & more it seems that i have been circling, revolving around the same idea: the same quiet, simple prayer that's more felt, like body heat, than mentioned. it's something like help or transform or raise the place & start again.

It was a soupy night

It all started on Monday night after finishing up woodwind juries at USD in Vermillion. Several of the faculty and myself went the local bait and tackle for a mean burger (they sell t-shirts and hoodies btw!).
Post-burger I stopped in Sioux City for gas and it was pretty tough driving about that time. There was a lot of fog and it was difficult to see even a quarter of a mile. I went inside to pay and to get a steaming beverage for the road. As I was filling my cup, I noticed an older gentleman trucker washing out his coffee cup. I remarked, "Kind of soupy out there tonight isn't it?"
He cocked his head to the side, looked at me and drawled, "It's so thick out there I couldn't find my hind end with both hands even if I tried!".

Needless to say, that one had me going all the way home!

cat power LIVE

there's a great CAT POWER concert at All Songs Considered.

gold ain't my best friend

i was so excited for my 27th birthday. i remember dreaming about it when i was younger, once i understood the meaning of "golden birthday" or "golden anniversary". i had small little vignettes of what i thought i'd be like when i got to be 27. i remember thinking about it once, when i was 8 or 9, while rollerskating at skateland on 132nd & B. why such vivid forecasts?

i ran into someone while i was back in omaha over break...and was asked, "so, are things as great as you thought they'd be, post-college?" i kind of sat there in this extremely awkward silence. no friends, not the kind that i like to linger in...the kind that makes my face turn really red & my stomach full of jitters. i was studying a loaf of bread & trying to calculate a response when i realized: YES! YES IT IS AS GREAT! IT IS BETTER! i realized that life -now- isn't what i had expected at all...but it's better than my quasi-plans to drift around, meet people, love people, and drift away.

i woke up this morning with a keen sense of purpose: i'm 28 years old! i didn't spend years imagining my life this way....but i love every little drop of it....i love the hardship that's been apart of this past year....and i love the soaring joys that i've felt in knowing that i am not alone in this life. that i am preceded by a plan long in the works....and that my future is not a whim. it's not guess or supposition. it's apart of something greater & far more complex than i understand. thank you, god.

you can pick your friends

happy birthday caron! what a great day this is! i'm glad you 'picked' me to be your friend. har har.

thanks for the gift of friendship -- not only yours but also for introducing me to probably more than half the who cares blogteam. thanks for bringing all of us together. you are the glue.

Ninja baby.

We've been practicing taekwondo at our house lately to pass the time.

What a mother will do.

Here was my brilliant idea to get Linus to eat something besides cereal bars and cheese sticks. It totally flopped. The meal was entitled: Prince Knight Hunts Lego Dragon in Enchanged Broccoli Forest.

the RSVP's are in...

OK, Nate and I will be incharge of the main dish for the evening (roast, ham, chicken... something) but what would everyone else enjoy bringing? *If you are out-of-town and coming in for the evening, don't worry about bringing food - bring some wine to share :-) I'll try to put a menu together by mixing and matching those things ya'll love to cook!

out of egypt

i just wanted to send out a short message to my whocares sisters in the city limits tonight: i'm so sorry that i couldn't meet up over this holiday week. i will returns your calls & emails when we get back to illinois. i am bad at managing stress in this fair city. i must retreat.

sorry it didn't work out.
long live the blog!

tribute

this is a tribute to my dad. he is always encouraging & motivating. he doesn't dwell on negative things for too long, but doesn't avoid them altogether. he can easily talk to anyone. i used to think my dad didn't have any opinions about most of the things i did in my life. i later realized that he weighed my actions deeply; he just didn't need for me to know all of his opinions.

and he plays a mean elmo guitar.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope you all have a wonderful day today. Always good to have a day like this-- family, way too much food, etc. It was just the four of us today. We all sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and toasted all the things we were thankful for with two wine glasses and a juice box. Such things were mentioned as: friends, our church, giants and knights, our family, good food, Union Pacific and big mean giants. I'm thankful for all of you, too-- this blog has been a venue for some great friendships to begin in.

what to do when you don't know what to do

sometimes when i'm writing and i need a second to not think, i like to find cartoons on the internet. my friend emily turned me onto wondermark, which you can link to by clicking on the title. you can also read the cartoon in a larger form. it's small here. but oh. this one made me laugh like crazy today. but maybe that's because it was 5:30 in the morning. anyway, it is a good way to take a two minute break.

WILD OATS CLOSING

the wild oats store on 168th & dodge is closing. there are great sale prices. and 30% off all in-store items. we got a box of KIND bars.

(who didn't know that place was gonna close eventually?)

ray lamontagne in lincoln tomorrow

my sister just called to tell me this. crazy! how did we almost miss it? of course, i will miss it anyway. i've got a night class. but you all should go. don't miss out TWICE! take the link in the title.

the tube

recently i've been reading stuff on consumerism, debt, and the media. juliet schor has written several books and articles about how tv-watching correlates with personal credit card debt, showing that people who watch a lot of tv also consume beyond their means, because instead of using their neighborhood to gauge living standards, they use people on tv shows. and everybody knows it's more fun to watch rich people than poor people. she also says that average american adults spend 40% of their free time watching tv.

so now i have to grapple with my love-hate feelings about tv all over again. i'm the kid who's dad vegged out in front of the tv almost every night of my growing-up life. my mom hated, and still hates, our tv because my dad becomes a zombie when it's on. so the tv was a point of conflict in our house. on principle, i oppose it because it wastes time, diminishes family interactions, and dims the intellect. i didn't watch tv during college, period. i'm also the kid who woke up at 3:30 in the morning to watch cartoons on saturdays, waiting patiently for the colored bars to give way to black and white movies, which gave way to vintage cartoons, which became garfield and friends by 9:00. i'm currently hooked on several shows, and i devotedly watched project runway on the treadmill at the gym because our humble cable package doesn't include bravo.

about a month ago, my friend came over on saturday afternoon, and somehow the subject came up. she was expressing frustration because her man loves to watch sports and spends a lot of time watching tv in the evenings. now, i have principles about tv watching, but she has PRINCIPLES. it's a major stress in their marriage. i passed along the advice implicitly given by caron (did you know you gave me advice about this? you did.) which is, do your man a favor and chill. remember that he's had a crazy day and really, legitimately needs to relax his brain, at least for a little while. so i told her that. watch tv with him. she thought i was out of my head. like i was saying, it's okay to shoot up together, you deserve to relax!

what do you say? tv good for much-deserved relaxation? tv bad for family life? fight the monster or go with the flow? what's a girl to do?

help me

the heat is on: they wanna know what i want for christmas. i saw some cool shoes i'd like. and a new skillet. and some little things from paper source. BUT WHAT ELSE? i'd like some new earrings but can't find any to help me specify...same with a necklace. tell me some cool stuff i might like...(not the beer belly, cheryl)

freebie fridays

the loot has been trickling in from freebie fridays. don't forget about this gem of a website.

the parable of the shrewd manager

so last night was the beggar's society, and the man who spoke talked about lazarus and the rich man. i was sort of rusty on the story, so i read it last night in luke 16, and just before that parable is the parable of the shrewd manager. so i read that one, and i can't make heads or tails of it, friends. are you familiar? any thoughts on the message? you can click on the title to get a link. man. i want to get into a bible study. not one that studies a book. not that there is anything wrong with a book. but i just want to read the bible with people and talk about it. it is a crazy book. but i think a lot about what lauren winner writes about in "girl meets god"--that it judges us. we don't judge it. amen. may the word dwell in us.

a true home-owner day

drain backed-up in the laundry room... got the carpet around the new cabinets wet in the remodeled part of the basement...

raked 12 bags full of leaves... made a small dent in the piles

still made a pizza for lunch

owning a beautiful old-home sure has its' pro's and con's

one of the pro's today - probably burned 1000 calories in home-maintenance!

cyclical

in an effort to appease two different tastes in the same household & to conserve resources, we've switched morning coffee. our everyday coffee is "chock full o' nuts: colombian". it's more diner-ish and i like it.

but you can bet your sweet bippy i'll be stocking up on christmas blend while it's around (now until december 31st). maybe we can enjoy some together next week.

WARNING: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE

i am not in the habit of checking websites like screenit.com to gauge how well the content of a film will agree with me. i usually ask other people [you] who've seen the film or browse around rottentomatoes until i'm pretty sure i'll like the film. and then our wireless service took a dive on friday. and there weren't any people to ask for recommendations. and we were limited by movie start times here in the capitol city. it was either borat! or stranger than fiction. since our # of dates is so limited, i wanted a guaranteed good laugh. so we went to see borat!.

the basic gist: a guy from kazakhstan comes to the U.S. to become more aware of customs & to be a sort of ambassador to improve kazakhstan's public image, specifically when it comes to their national sense of humor.

for the first 30 minutes, i was laughing...but it was the kind of laughter that i have during most stand-up comedy or whenever i've seen an episode of jack-ass. sort of hesitant, slightly grossed-out, & very uncertain grin + sounds of amusement. there were funny part, including one specific moment when borat meets with a group of feminists to understand their cause. one of the women is very butch & later on he says, "i did not understand what this man was saying." (long pause) it was funny...but not when you include...

there was a ton of YUCKY male frontal nudity & terribly disgusting sexual references. also this: portions of the film were set up & billed to participants as documentary. borat is invited to dine with a pastor, the pastor's wife, & four of their friends. they have dinner & are genuine toward borat. they have invited him to their home as a guest, thinking he is doing a documentary. meanwhile, he has invited a prostitute to dine with them as his date. the pastor & his wife immediately leave & the two couples are distraught. there is also a staged conversion at a pentecostal church, with borat being 'slain in the spirt' & fake speaking in tongues that is disturbing to me, as well.

the raunchiest, most unredeemable movie i've ever experienced.

haut monde

so tonight in barnes and noble, two of my pettiest characteristics warred with one another. i've been reading a bunch of carson mccullers for my independent study in short stories by southern women writers, but the books i've been using for my reading are from the library. but i like her stuff so much and i like to write in books while i read them, so i wanted to buy my own. so i went to barnes and noble tonight to pick up "the heart is a lonely hunter" and "the ballad of the sad cafe and other stories," and they had them, and in matching volumes, even. my friends, let me tell you, i am a sucker for the matching volumes. i love it. i love it so much to look at my book cases and see all the vintage international faulkners and the dull glow of their gold spines. or to see all my farrar, straus, and giroux flannery o'connors, sitting at the same height, their colors matching and complimenting one another. so that's the first part. the allure of the matching editions. and then comes the second part. there, on the cover of "the heart is a lonely hunter" is the O. that's right. that sun. that logo of democratized literature. the oprah's book club logo. i don't like that. i don't like to buy the movie editions of books, like "pride and prejudice" or "about a boy" or whatever. and i don't like books with that big O marring the cover. it makes me feel like people will assume that i only picked up said book because oprah told me to. and god forbid i don't get the credit for my own taste. as if it were really mine anyway. so i had a moment of deliberating. which desire is stronger? would i rather buy the book with the O or have non-matching carson mccullers books? the answer, my friends, is the latter. i didn't buy "the heart is a lonely hunter." i'll buy it on-line. my elitism won out over my perfectionism. ha! doesn't bode so hot for my life as a whole, huh?

Fighting for our rights in her satin tights.

This is a bit late, but I wanted to post a pic of Ada's Halloween costume.

MY SO-CALLED LIFE EXCLUSIVE!--

remember this??

i woke up thinking about this:

what was your favorite snack when you were a little kid?

(little debbie snacks were in a dream i had last night)

My new favorite quote:

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."

Your light overwhelmed me

here are some recent concert clips that just might redeem ole jolie holland. follow the links:

1. Amen
2. Old Fashioned Morphine
3. Do You?
4. Beauty in a Fade/Alley Flowers
5. Mad Tom of Bedlam
THIS LAST ONE IS GREAT!!

neighbors

this is our new neighboor. he drinks beer at 9 in the morning. he blares music all day from his deck. tunes such as "shaft" and "s-a-t-u-r-d-a-y NIGHT!" and apparently now he takes naps out on the deck. i don't think it looks very comfortable, do you?

boom, chick chicka chicka, boo boo boom... my best beatbox in type... that's what i hear all day. not the wind whistling. not the squirrels chirping... i'd trade the beats for hoagies in my yard any day. bring back the hoagies!!!!!!!!!!

get it together

today i went around & replaced all of our light bulbs with these REVEAL60 bulbs from GE. i did the same thing last year, to help combat the winter blues & lack of good lighting in certain rooms in the house & it made all the difference.

also playing: amy grant "the collection". i know, i know. but perfect antidote for bill-paying-melancholy. i even feel cheerful.

also: anyone up for a breakfast or dinner over thanksgiving break? there are all sorts of places i'd love to go, as springfield is a desert for yummy eateries. post if you'll be in town or not. and get some new light bulbs ON SALE on a Target end cap near you.

May 15, 2007

For the Chocolate and Zucchini lovers in the room, it is now possible to pre-order this book at Amazon.com ... but it isn't set to be released until May 15, 2007. What a very long time to wait.

Please

Please vote today ... if you haven't already.

Hope you all are having a wonderful Election Tuesday.

trifecta...no no!

we saw our little kiddo today. and we saw a new little blip on the screen this time. brothers & sisters, it's a boy!

"home" sunday morning

i'm home this morning with a sick kiddo. it's quiet in our house & i've got sigur ros playing. i have no idea what these songs mean but i like the feel of the sound. when i listen, my melancholy hand has another to hold.

tomorrow will mark 7 months since leaving omaha. i really miss life there some days. like today.

prayer

megan's prayer. amen.

distraction

is there such a thing as rapid-onset a.d.d.?
i can't concentrate on the work at hand.

something new: tiny houses

it's been 3 or 4 days... i'm just adding something new that I found and think is cool
Tiny Houses... check it out by clicking on the title :-)