moh! take II

monica taught me a lot of things. the one i am thinking about right now: 1. don't ever let yourself feel out of place in any situation. just adapt. just be there & be comfortable.

here's to you, moh!
(monica is not the cat)

high school music

last week when i was painting the attic, i started listening to a lot of music i'd listened to in high school. what did you listen to?

1. nirvana unplugged
2. REM "everybody hurts" & "drive"
3. bon jovi "keep the faith" (i know, ha ha!)
4. amy grant "the collection" (actually from elementary school)
5. bride "everybody knows my name"

Oooff.

Last night we were awoken not by a baby crying, but by a little toddler voice crying and saying "Daddy!" Linus has recently moved into a big boy bed. It is twin-sized. We put one side up against the wall and a guard on the other so he wouldn't fall out. The bed is on wheels. Oops. He had fallen out on the wall side and was wedged between the bed and the wall. Poor little guy. He's ok, though.

P.S. Has anyone read a David Sedaris book? Recommendations of which one to read?

RE-ANNOUNCING

A WHOCARES BREAKFAST THIS FRIDAY MARCH 3RD! COME ALL OF YOU: READERS, MEMBERS, FRIENDS OF READERS OR MEMBERS.

BRING YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST TREAT OR DON'T. BRING YOUR KIDS OR DON'T. COME BEFORE WORK, THE GYM, SKIP 'EM BOTH...WHATEVER.

MY HOUSE, 6am-10am. LET'S DO IT WHILE WE CAN.

ugh

mojito love

comment codes

has anyone noticed that the letters you have to type in to leave a comment are getting harder and harder to type? i admit that i am a fairly good typist... but these are absurd. for example:
ckubydgszweh
is all of that really necessary? okay, that was an exaggeration, but c'mon, it's dumb.

bar keepers friend

i've decided that when i'm done with all of this cleaning, packing, & painting that i'm going to get a nice manicure, pedicure, & something else to cure the dry skin, aches & pains. anyone else?

our friend paul

this is a picture of our friend paul. at first i was planning just to post his picture because his scar is awesome. but then i thought, why not ask for a little prayer for paul from my friends... paul is a cool guy... very active, loves the lord, lives in south dakota... he has a hole, or something wrog with his heart. he has had two open heart surgeries in the last two years. he came out of this last one with the heart valve of a pig. pig heart valves only last ten years, so every ten years or so he will have to go through it AGAIN. it is strange because we never think things like this will happen to us, or our friends or family, or even worse, our children... but things like this do happen, and we deal with them and get through them. whenever something bad happens to me, like my heating bill is twice what i though it would be, or i find a new stretch mark on my belly, i think, man, could this be any worse? and i don't always think of it right away, but, yeah, things could be worse. things could be a lot worse. we all have things to be unbelievably thankful and grateful for, and we forget about them. here's to you paulie.

when i came back from india i spent two weeks recovering from typhoid fever & then went back to work at this west omaha bookstore. i’ve done it plenty of times and working in a bookstore is terrible. all of the customers are relaxing, rejuvenating their minds, sipping coffee & having little “tee-hee” moments between one another--what you wish you were doing instead of making lattes, microwaving preservative-filled “pastries”.

i only lasted a few shifts. i couldn’t take the drama, the inactivity, the murmerings between co-workers. i was in love & longing for the purity of communication that i had experienced with friends, strangers, cultures, god while working overseas; while doing something together that seemed to matter more than anything i had ever done before.

as hard as it can be, i think i love motherhood this way. i love the hard work involved with something other than myself. the rightness of denying yourself selfishness. it isn’t always pleasant to wipe a poopy butt or have the patience to listen to a chattering 2 year old. sometimes i want quiet--want those bookstore moments. but when i think about it, it’s the duty, the commitment, the intrinsic & cultivated love...it’s doing something that seems to matter more.

regret

regret is a spicy dip you made for the super bowl party [two weeks ago] at austin & becky’s & then you didn’t feel like cleaning the casserole dish so you put it on the back porch because it WAS below freezing out there & then you forgot about it. and then you found it.

A Puzzlement

CAN ANY OF YOU BRILLIANT WOMEN HELP ME HERE? If any of you own a copy of Celebration of Discipline, there is what appears to be a scripture reference to Ecclesiastes 7:30 on the first page of Chapter 6. This reference is again listed in the scripture index at the back of the book. According to my present knowledge and research, this verse does not exist. I am VERY baffled. Richard Foster is brilliant. But what is this reference? Is it really 7:29... no. Is it really 8:1... no. Is it a typo of 2:30... no. Is it a reference of the book of Ecclesiasticus from the Apocrypha... no. This is a plea to help my poor brain understand this reference. Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

Welcome to the Wild Wild West

Aren't my parents HOT!

I love it.

lord yes

i get daily emails from the writer's almanac, which is a wonderful thing, and this was today's poem. by a poet named ginger adams. read on.

Down on My Knees

cleaning out my refrigerator
and thinking about writing a religious poem
that somehow combines feeling sorry for myself
with ordinary praise, when my nephew stumbles in for coffee
to wash down what looks like a hangover
and get rid of what he calls hot dog water breath.
I wasn't going to bake the cake

now cooling on the counter, but I found a dozen eggs tipped
sideways in their carton behind a leftover Thanksgiving Jell-O dish.
There's something therapeutic about baking a devil's food cake,
whipping up that buttercream frosting,
knowing your sisters will drop by and say Lord yes
they'd love just a little piece.

Everybody suffers, wants to run away,
is broke after Christmas, stayed up too late
to make it to church Sunday morning. Everybody should

drink coffee with their nephews,
eat chocolate cake with their sisters, be thankful
and happy enough under a warm and unexpected January sun.

downloading stuff

i got an itunes card for valentine's day. so far, i've downloaded some sweet stuff. my favorite episode of "the office", booze cruise. the tension! ah the tension! it's the best episode.

and then:

gloria estefan--conga
ricky martin--the cup of life (for annabelle)
kelly clarkson--walk away (great for YMCA visits)
pat benatar--invicible

i know. i know. but have you see "the legend of billie jean?"

ja is making a chocolate lava cake right now. we are celebrating. and i'm playing "conga", much to his dismay.

KVNO 90.7 fm

I'm announcing for the next month or so at KVNO from 9 - 12 noon.
So if anyone would like to tune in or stream along I would love it!

We are a unique station because we are solely listener supported - no big radio corp.s here. (ha - corps!)
Go classical radio!

i thought it was funny

my friend, teej, sent this to me. it made me laugh.

Smile!

hey-ya, ga-la!

annemarie..how'd it go?!

vi, vi, valentine

this morning, when i went upstairs to get violet, she held her arms up & said, "mama".

that's a nice valentine.

Someday Soon.

Someday soon this baby will make his appearance and I will be a puffy marshmellow no more.

I love Nebraska

Tilapia or Nebrask Fish for dinner?

I think it looks tasty.

the lanyard

last night darby, daphne, becky, and i were having some coffee and we were talking about that billy collins poem "the lanyard." then becky, i think, said that the word "lanyard" doesn't sound like what it is. it's a big sounding word. sort of a maritime-feeling word if you ask me. a lanyard should be part of a mooring or something. and speaking of words that don't sound like what they are, how 'bout the word "fecund"? it sounds so gross. like something festering. but no. it means fertile. fruitful. huh.


The Lanyard

The other day as I was ricocheting slowly
off the pale blue walls of this room,
bouncing from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word 'lanyard.'

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one more suddenly into the past--
a past where i sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid thick plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that's what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until i had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sickroom,
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,
set cold face-clothes on my forehead
and then led me out into the airy light
and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift--not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-toned lanyard from my hands,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

--Billy Collins


ps. does anyone know to what cookie nibbled by a French novelist he is referring? i wish i did...

if you like...

we watched two movies this weekend & both were excellent.

off the map
junebug

teaching

man. what a weekend. me versus a room full of 18-year-old female freshers. one with a.d.d. and seven with severe cases of introversion. you just never know where you are with those silent types, whether they're bored beyond comprehension or they're having a cosmic internal revolution. they have the same look on their faces either way. and i feel silly, all chaos and gasping and blurted enthusiasm. imagine lisa kudrow teaching the sphinx.

all i can do, now that they've hefted their backpacks and moved on, is flop in the chair and listen to lucinda williams. and write to you.

you give me fever

i think i caught the flu from being in mick's smoke-den for five hours. can you get a fever & chills from not enough pure oxygen? so much for a fun day off. wah. poor me.

it was a star-studded cast on friday night: so great to see almost all of the WHOCARES-ers there.

our 1 year anniversary is coming up on march 30th. let's plan a celebration.

Chocolate Cake

If only we could all enjoy our dessert this much (this is my niece - Aya).

new post

i added a new song. "oh no".

A Gala

Hey Y'all --

I know this is so very terribly last minute but Voices for Children (the non-profit I am working for) is having a huge Gala event this Saturday evening (Feb. 11 @ 6:00pm). This Gala is the reason I've disappeared since arriving in Omaha. My position was vacant for 5 months prior to my arrival and I'm making up for those 5 months and trying to pull this Gala off. Anyway, if any of you would be interetesed in come you are MORE THAN WELCOME! Tickets are $55 (ouch, I know, but ...), which includes dinner with soup (tomato bisque), entree (your choice of Blackened Prime Rib or Seared Salmon), sides, beverages and wine. A small portion of the ticket prices will go to Voices as a donation. Also, there will be a silent auction and the event is semi-formal with a live band and dancing. It should be a whole lot of fun (at least I hope so after all this work!). If any of you would like to come you can call me at 639.4687 (cell) or 597.3100 (work). More info at www.voicesforchildren.com
Again, sorry this is so last minute. I've wanted to put this up for days and just haven't been able to get away from work.

The good news is I'll definately see all of you on Friday night to see Caron play!! :-)

pod-crass

i want to start a podcast. how many of you listen to podcasts?

tales of the kingdom

in sunday school last week, someone had a copy of david mains' "tales of kingdom" with them and i was reminded of how much i loved that book--and it's sequel, tales of the resistance. with that girl, Dirty, and Scarboy, and the juggler. anyway, thinking back on those books made me realize something. when i was a child, i thought all authors were famous. or at least that all of the authors of the books we read were famous. i remember when david mains came and spoke at our church and i was sure he was a huge celebrity when the truth is probably not even most christians know who he is. but i felt that way about laura ingalls wilder too. if i ever met a kid who didn't know who david mains was or who laura ingalls was, i thought it was like not knowing who abraham lincoln was.

anyway, those are good books. although i haven't looked at one for probably 15 years. maybe i wouldn't like them anymore. but i bet i would. everyone likes a story about a girl named Dirty.

what we do

my parents had packed up our house in orlando while cathy & i were playing at uncle clifford's. and then we crammed into our plymouth horizon [cathy's parakeet beneath my feet] and started driving across the united states. that was the first time we had seen snow. the car broke down somewhere in idaho. we had breakfast at howard johnson's a few mornings & i loved sausage. the bird fluttered in his cage a lot. and then we were there.

the morning we met the moving truck at our new house in beaverton, oregon, i sat down on my tricycle, pointed toward the end of the driveway, & down i went. we weren't used to elevation of the earth. i sped down that driveway, hit the rain-gutter-curb, flipped over the handlebars, & broke my collarbone. mom brought the black & white TV into my room. i remember cathy petting my hair & sitting on the raggedy ann & andy sheets with me. i wore a little sling for a awhile.

this morning i taught annabelle how to make a circle & a square with a paintbrush. pretty elementary. and really, i was too thrilled about it. and while we were in the kitchen, listening to patty griffin & having a little snack & painting shapes on the blank insides of old cereal boxes, i was hoping that she would remember this morning.

"mom, who is 'dat lady singing?"
"her name's patty griffin. can you say that?"
"mm, patty grippin."

and it's only monday.

cubejoy

dear who cares readers.

you writers, you workers at menial jobs (okay, i'm the only one in that category), you women and men with bigger creative dreams percolating under the surface of daily life, this above link is for YOU.

cubejoy is a website devoted to the secret desires and motivations of cubicle dwellers (and other day laborers, contingent employees, mothers, etc). it's a call for submissions for a print anthology. write something! i'm going to.

o tilapia, o sanctissima

last night i made the tilapia recipe caron posted, and it turned out great, if i do say so. i didn't have any breadcrumbs, so i used crushed wheat thins instead, and am happy to report that they do the fish right. its nice with edamame on the side. try some.

R.I.P.

there were many days, those first few months, when i thought i was through; i thought i was finished with thinking, dreaming, musing, contemplating, observing. those fitful nights of little sleep & lots of time in the rocking chair. the months of detox from a busy, fast-paced social life & lots of gratifying work that was completed with determination & pride: i'd sit down, work on it, & would finish.

then to learn how to sit on the floor for hours & enjoy it. to learn a new theology of time. a currency exchange. i thought for sure, those first few months, that i would die from the adjustment to motherhood. what a radical conversion, now that i think about it. it's the english alphabet to the japanese alphabet: nothing familiar, nothing that looks like this word or that.

but they say the best way to learn a new language is to immerse yourself in the culture. lasinoh, orajel, exersaucer, bjorn, RSV, bourdeaux BP, gentian violet.

unpracticed

we were supposed to practice last night. for lack of sound equipment & lack of desire to do anything productive, we went to wino wednesday at dundee cork & bottle. we had a melbec. try it sometime.

recommended reading

okay. this is risky. but i've been loving this book in silence for almost a week, until i was sure it was worthy of being recommended on who cares. i believe it is.
caron got it from the library today and will be able to confirm or deny the verdict soon. but. i think you've got to read:

_I Capture the Castle_ by Dodie Smith

it is delightful. i picked it up randomly at barnes and noble. it's just been brought back into print (it was published originally in 1948). i keep writing descriptions and then erasing them. it's a great book. just read it.