farty fart (warning: not for the faint of heart)

okay. if you find no joy in the scatological aspects of life, move along. this post is not for you.

caron. daphne. i think you will feel me on this one.

the best thing ever happened. okay. so yesterday, i was having a weirdo day. like i couldn't drive my cart straight at the grocery store and everything was a little off and silly. so anyway, emily and i went for groceries because after getting back from spring break, neither of us had any food in our houses. and i bought oatmeal cream pies at the grocery store. it was that one time every seven years when otherwise gross stuff like that sounds good to me. so we drove back to em's house after that, and the oatmeal cream pies and i were talking to each other. it went like this.

cream pies: we don't like emily. do we have to go to her house?

ali: she's harmless. plus, we can't very well kick her out of her own house, now, can we?

cream pies: we guess not. but do we have to talk to her?

ali: no, i'll be your buffer. not to worry. it's fine. i'll smooth things over.

emily: who are you talking to? *glaring look*

ali: private coversation

cream pies: *knowing look*

ali: *knowing look back*

so we unloaded the groceries and emily asked if she could see the cream pies. so i asked them.

ali: hey, do you guys mind? em wants to see you. i'll be here. it'll be okay.

cream pies: i guess...if she has to...

THEN, emily takes the cream pies box, places it between her two buttocks cheeks, and lets lose on them. we both died laughing. so funny. maybe it's not funny to read. but i sure think it's funny.

okay. that's my story.

pet my cure

let me advise you: indulge yourselves. the invigorating, restorative power of a pedicure is often overlooked. but don't go to PRONAILS at crossroads. they play scary movies on their big screen television. and, as cheryl taught me, you have to tip.

it's like something chewing on your ear

i just found out that there are no more tickets available to the david sedaris reading in fayetteville on april 11th. i am disappointed and it's bothering me. i was supposed to buy tickets for sigma tau delta, the english honor's society. and now none of us can go. the bad feeling is chewing on my ears. not in a good way either. shoot.

caron wanted to post my comments about "before sunrise" and "before sunset" but she didn't. i was going to post them myself, but i realized that i didn't save the message in my sent box. so caron, if you still have them, will you post them? if you don't still have them, then we'll ALL know what you think of me and my messages to you...the heat is on...

She Bop

I've been wondering about the lyrics to this song lately.

SHE BOP by Cyndi Lauper

We-hell- I see them every night in tight blue jeans
In the pages of a blue boy magazine
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up - good vibration -
Oop - she bop -

Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop - or I'll go blind
Oop - she bop

kate pic

this post is for kate's profile. like it?

insipid sunset

i was among the many who loved before sunrise. but before sunset really disappointed me. there were a few things that i couldn't get past. of course the boat scene is beautiful and makes me want to go to paris. BAD. it almost makes me like the movie. or at least want to like the movie. maybe i should see it again.

i agree caron, the passion was a memory. and that is just so sad to me. let's agree to always be passionate about life, ok? maybe it's not that easy. but his slump, his living in a memory, his obsession with one (granted beautiful) night of his life was so pathetic that i couldn't enjoy the long, boring, contrived dialogue.

or maybe it was because they are too old to be trying this hard. it's ok to try hard when you're young. but now? come on.

also the idea of emotional infidelity always disturbs me. ethan character, can't remember his name, was cheating on his wife! i am not usually one to rule out movies due to moral issues. so it probably wasn't only this that bothered me. but it did bother me. another reason why i couldn't enjoy the long, boring, contrived dialogue.

beautiful - wish you were here 

what we were talking about

we aren't trying to do anything earth shattering. maybe just collect what we've already got going on. so we were talking about "before sunset". the conversation IS strained. maybe it IS contrived. because they are realizing that all of their "genius" from a decade ago was really nothing special. their insights were fueled by a passion that has, in some natural way, faded and become sporadic and fleeting. now, their passions (at least hawke's passions) are fueled by the memory of that passionate fuel. like he wants to get back to that one driving moment in his life. the anti-epiphany. let's duke it out.